And then it all changed

Written by Cynthia, Mom to Ava

Ava and I were sitting in the car outside her doctor's office finishing a snack. We had just come from the hospital where she had a CT scan because she was falling down and losing her balance. I had no idea walking back into that office we would receive the worst news ever, our four year old daughter had a brain tumor. I couldn't breathe. The world that I knew changed. It went from dreaming of what Ava would be when she grew up to wondering if she would live another year. We went from taking her to school each morning to taking her to radiation and chemo appointments everyday. The tumor Ava had (DIPG) was inoperable and terminal upon diagnosis. She was given 9-12 months to live. The diagnosis was devastating. Kids aren't supposed to get cancer, but they do. In a matter of a week we went from having a healthy child to a death sentence. That time is still a blur to me and Ava is the only reason I made it through. She saw me crying and told me not to worry because she would be okay. Whenever I would feel weak her strength would lift me up. Her smile and laugh could always bring me out of sadness. She fought so hard but ultimately cancer won. Ava passed away in November. Our family is trying to find a way to manage in this new life without her. Simply put, it is very difficult. The smallest reminder can bring our grief to the surface. As we pick up the pieces, I am thankful. Thankful for the gold hope project and the hope it is bringing families in their darkest moments. Times when they don't know what the future holds. These fighter's smiles light up so many hearts and show us what courage really means. I can't imagine a better way for Ava's memory to live on.

 Ava was the inspiration for The Gold Hope Project, she will forever be our first Gold Ambassador

7 comments:

Lisbeth

I admire your strength, courage, and love for Ava. I look forward to posts from The Gold Hope Project. The joy displayed I am each session warms my heart and soul. Thank you for childhood cancer a voice because sadly kids do get cancer. Again, I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Katherine Weeks

Reading this post as Allison Krauss comes on my playlist singing Baby Mine = tears.....I am ever so sorry that you have lost your baby girl. Praise the Lord that she inspired the Gold Hope Project.

Anonymous

I'll never forget little Ava ..Her sweet smile in
her photos is so precious ..She didn't show her pain for sure... I'm sorry you had to loose her but God has another sweet angel to keep him company and make him smile ...Be honored knowing that ......Thank you for sharing her with everyone on FB ..

Rachel McStay

The lump that was there when we got Hannah's diagnosis came back when I was reading that. I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful little girl. Thank you for continuing to share Ava's story and showing us the beautiful girl that she was. <3

Anonymous

I am Morgan kervins grandmother,I have been with the family this whole time.I loved Ava to.I know she is an angel,and God has her with him.she has no more pain or sickness.I know she is with you all time.You will see her again some day.I am so sorry for every one who loved ava.Thanks Morgan for your love for Ava to.God bless youyou all.

Unknown

that's jb's wife AVA she is so cute.

Anonymous

I pray for your healing, Cynthia. Not to remove the grief, but to find peace in this change. <3

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The Gold Hope Project is a team of photographers that have gathered together to raise awareness of childhood cancers. There are over 800 photographers worldwide that offer their services to fighters and survivors, putting faces to facts.
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