My child is different

As told by Cori, Mom to Bella

My child is different. I knew that the moment she was born, though you couldn't tell from the outside. I could just feel it. She changed my life. For the better. I knew she was gonna grow up and do amazing things.

When I got the call at 3am that confirmed she had ALL Leukemia I was in a disarray. I wasn't sure what to think. I just knew I had to trust in God, that she would still do amazing things. They just may not be what I envisioned for her.

Seeing her go through so much pain from a simple blood test that ended with a bone marrow biopsy, a major surgery to insert her port-a-cath, starting chemo, and 10 days inpatient were tough.

When she got a high fever after only being home from 6 days and ended up being admitted for 26 days because of a blood infection I was scared. But after 29 days of chemo and countless blood and platelet transfusions I got the call from the doctor that unlike 98% of ALL patients Bella did not go into remission. I was then terrified. At this point, I couldn't hold it in anymore. All I could do was cry and pray to God that I needed Him. He had to make her better. I couldn't lose my little girl. Things get a little easier but the pain never ceases. Some days it just hits you like a freight train that your once healthy child now has a life threatening disease.

Now when people see Bella, they can tell she is different. She doesn't have much hair, she wears a mask and she has a port inside her chest. She can't play at the park or McDonald's without fear of getting deathly sick. She goes to the doctor at lease once a week to receive chemo. Her best friends are the doctors and nurses she sees almost everyday. She is a champion pill swallower. Did I mention she is 3 years old? She is amazing. Her courage and strength can only come from one place. God.

He loves her more than I can fathom, which is difficult to do since I love nothing more in this world than my children and Jesus. I must put my trust and faith in Him. He can see the big picture even tho I cannot. He will lead me where I am supposed to go.

Just like I feel He is leading me to become more involved in raising awareness for childhood cancer. If I reach only 1 person. That will be enough. Today Bella is in remission. It took a very long 4 months to reach that goal but we did it, but it wasn't without a few tears shed and many sleepless nights. We still have 2 years left of treatment and I am still scared everyday that I could lose my child, but I must be strong for her and my family. God is on our side.

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